“Are you afraid of God?” (listen my muse is an angel i cant pass this up)
– GOD?
he was a man of science ; there, in his life, was no room got a higher power. nonexistence seemed glaringly obvious. perhaps his disgust for the church – that cult – had turned him away from the idea of a benevolent being, perhaps it was the simple fact that any god would have never allowed the horrors that had befallen him. either way, what reason had he to fear ? the fire and brimstone that would surely await him below ? if that were true, he would have seen it as his flesh was stripped from his bones.
‘ i do not fear fantasy. ’
👀 "Do you feel any remorse for killing as many as you have?"
‘ do you feel guilt when extinguishing the life of a cockroach ? an ant ?
– no. because to you, they are insignificant. their lives hold no meaning, no purpose. that filth that i purged from existence ? i do not regret doing so. i gave them meaning. purpose. without me and my research, they would wither, and die accomplishing nothing. ’
👀 + would you rather: fight a donkey sized toad, or an army of toad sized donkeys?
‘ … the latter. ’
👀 When you worked as a proper doctor for BMH, what was your relationship with most of your patients ?
‘ i had special interest in those who’s brains were considered deviant. those with disassociative identity disorder, behavioral and developmental problems. autism and its’ strains. those with psychosis and psychotic depression were rare, but always fascinating. as for a relationship ; they were only my patients. i remained indifferent to them, as they did me. ’
do you feel responsible for Laura's death at all? 👀
‘ – yes.
i always have. that shame. that guilt. it won’t ever disappear.’
Why the interest in lobotomy, anyways? 👀
‘ as a child, i was curious as to how the mind worked. why people – things – functioned in the way they did. the more i subjected creatures to stress, the more i would find out. my interest left the bestial world, and continued on in humans ; a far more complex working system. i wanted to know everything. pain. fear. pleasure. love. where in the brain it was located. how it could be artificially stimulated. ‘
👀 Are you grateful at all for any of the help Jimenez provided you with?
‘ grateful ? that leech stole from me. published my work, in his name. the resources he provided were appreciated, but nothing i couldn’t have gained on my own. his success was built on my back. my work. if anything, he should have been grateful for me. ’
👀 Why does [ruvik] think his father locked him in that basement?
‘ – father disliked me from the very start. neglectful. selfish. the sort of man unfit to have a child ; yet, he had two. laura was always his favorite. the first born. but me ? he could barely stand to look at me. when the barn was set ablaze, he saw it as a chance to make me disappear. to hide his shame. so, he locked me away. out of sight, out of mind. i can’t recall being fed more than once a day. living in my own filth. but, he could not keep me there. and he learned, in his last moments, his decision as a mistake. ’
❝ darlin’, don't you stand there watching. ❞
‘ is that a challenge ? ’
calmness is a wonder ; but it’s assumed that a drug addled brain cannot begin to comprehend the situation he was in, how dire it would grow to be. haunted around him hiss in agitation, but a single, outstretched hand keeps what remains of them them at bay. weaponry against him is useless, yet, this one seems to want to put up some sort of fight, felling former subjects with ease.
impressive.
❝ i’ve looked close enough and i see you for what you are. ❞
‘ you see nothing. ’
did she see vile nature ; did she look upon the face of evil ? so many were quick to call him such – and yet, these people remain so blind. to those wayward souls, those society had neglected, tossed away ; he had given purpose, a meaning to pitiful lives. all he had done in the pursuit of research, of science – yet, considered a fiend still. perhaps some truth lie beyond those words ; he knows well the reaches he has gone beyond, the cruelty of his traps and experiments. his ire had no bounds, and each and every ounce was poured into the poor people he had within grasp.
what did she see ?
a monster, of course.
